We all have days similar to this one I think or am I alone? I woke up nearly in tears but strangely hungry. I ate but everything tasted like ash in my mouth. I searched high and low for a valuable item that I thought I had lost but when I found it I forgot to take it with me anyway. I longed to talk to someone about it all but when the opportunities came, nothing made sense and I was tongue-tied. Only two days ago I was full of joy and laughter but today... today there is a big grey cloud hanging over me.
As I write these thoughts down, a song comes to mind though I don't feel like singing but I shall read you the words:
Cling to the Call by John Waller
I was walking on water just a week ago
not a care in the world even a day ago
not sure what happened but all of a sudden
I saw the crashing waves all around me
and once again I had to choose to put my eyes back on You
my eyes back on You
And You said...
Cling to the call cling to the peace that guards your heart
cling to promise though you stumble you won't fall
I will uphold you now just trust me with all
Just look at me and I will lead you as you cling to the call
I can stand without wavering just an hour ago
I could not deny you even a moment ago
Not sure what happened but three times denied you
and once again I've got to choose to put my eyes back on You
my eyes back on You.
And You said...
Now once again I trust you're leading me
I choose to lean not on my own understanding, Lord.
And I will sing as I...
I don't know if I'll ever understand what these days are about nor why I get these sudden sinking feelings but while I don't FEEL like singing or smiling or laughing, my heart can still reach up to the heavens and know that my help comes from the Lord. His Word is sure and I can find rest there. I choose to look to the heavens and trust that the Son still shines even when it is difficult to see through the big grey cloud.
